You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
