Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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