hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
