Sry I called you an 8
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
