i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
soo... how was my night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
