I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize