Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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