By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
