dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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