They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
