it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
