omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need water and some morals
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
