chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
