listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
whose parrot is this?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
