she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
