She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
