community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
