Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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