I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
