Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
