that's an acceptable place to lick
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
