I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
