3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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