So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
