She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
