i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
