dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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