did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
