i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
