when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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