it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
4 words: hood of his car
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
