Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
