Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize