i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
