plz talk dirty to me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
