im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
