We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
