I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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