i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
