Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
How's work?
Spinning.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize