She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize