I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize