and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
