I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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