just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
