nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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