she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
