Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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