I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
