I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
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