I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
