Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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