Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
