you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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