where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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