I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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