What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
