'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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