i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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